Someone ought to offer a prize to anyone who can identify five of the 200 celebrities that are supposed to attend this year’s Kentucky Derby. Now, that would be a contest!

If I was an agent for any personality past his prime, getting my geezer of a client to go horse racing seems to be an easy way to earn my money. The sport will jump on anyone who ever appeared on television. It treats has-beens as if they are headliners.

Queen Elizabeth II is a star worth promoting. And the Queen isn’t being paid to show up like the others are. She won’t say anything stupid either, like “This is the first time I’ve been to the racetrack.”

Clearly, someone who’s not the same person that he was a few years ago is Larry Birkhead, the nation’s most famous sire. A couple of years back, Birkhead was taking snapshots of the stars at the Barnstable-Brown party as a working photographer, now he’s an honored guest.

Asked which filly he likes in the Oaks today, Birkhead said, “I’m on Dreaming of Anna.” Hmm, I guess he was. But does that make him any different from the next guy?