A bit farther north, an experience that used to be mellow - a day at the races - has become numbing. Saturday, Gulfstream Park, the home of Florida's finest thoroughbred racing, hosted more than its typical number of sun-seeking visitors who like to play the horses and watch them in person. Never mind that most of the crowd huddled deep in the bowels of the building at slot machines or spent time stuffing mouths with high caloric fuel from an obnoxious buffet. Understanding that eating mountains of food doesn't equate to satisfaction of the palate is a concept that sailed out to sea in a cruise ship.
Not much is accommodating about Gulfstream in terms of creature comfort. The lines at the parimutuel windows are tediously long because of their remoteness and number. The seats in the grandstand are limited and cramped by an architectural design that placed saving ahead of investing. Ingress and egress cause distress. It's near impossible to read the odds shown in the infield, especially when the sun takes a spot at your back and douses the toteboard with brilliance. If nature doesn't interfere with the display's readability, then the thick stucco pillars that lift up the roof block your view.
Regardless, for as wildly as Frank Stronach's erred with his grand restoration, he's managed to get an important part right. Horse racing's no longer the "Sport of Kings" but the "Sport of the Proletariat." Redesigning a racecourse, or replacing one from scratch, requires an understanding of your audience. It's a skill that's not easily learned by people in ivory towers who don't walk the streets. The age of lavish plants, serving a privileged class in luxury, is apparently over. New York racecourses would kill to have as many warm bodies for next Saturday's Gotham as Gulfstream had for its Fountain of Youth, a stakes with a name that aptly describes how the czar of car parts has revitalized the sport by dumb sizing it.
There are racetrack properties that derive their popularity because they present the established, traditional experience. The most notable are Saratoga nd Keeneland. Observers used to believe that Gulfstream was that kind of racecourse, too. With its long history of Kentucky Derby preps compacted into three winter months, it was the sport's ultimate escape - a proper venue for assessing the relative abilities of the nation's best three-year-olds, a place deserving of reverential observance. What is is now - now that the world has become "let me be myself" lazy - is an equine pachinko parlor. Give Stronach credit to see us for who we are. Many people see us differently.
Burdened by obesity, we can't button a fancy shirt at the neck or cinch a belt on our waistline. Afraid to think because life doesn't require it, we fill our heads with cacophony, believing quiet is for those who are boring. The A.D.D.world that dictates daily behavior has us believing that patience is time wasting. If something requires sacrifice, we pass on it. The value of enterprise rests in how much money can be made, and so businesses that are built to help people and serve customers are often plowed over.
It's a snap to write about what's wrong with Gulfstream; a little tougher to defend the features that have made it successful. You can begin with the weather. People simply want to be where it's warm when it's cold where they normally are. That's what brings the very best horses and trainers and jockeys here. This makes one wonder also why Stronach believes Gulfstream can race 'round the calendar. The dates fight between the owners of Calder and him merely makes him look bully-like - an image he can't seem to shed. The argument proves that he still hasn't learned the most basic lesson in luxury goods marketing - limit the supply of everything that's precious.
Like the old Gulfstream, most racecourses are wrong-suited for the sport's current constituency. Like the new Gulfstream, most racecourses should be smaller. Only people with over-starched attitudes, however, would prefer the pickled, un-democratized gathering places to one that's alive, albeit imperfect. Fans have become accepting of Gulfstream's foibles because they feel at home in the track's frat boy trappings. Stronach was smart to develop a village of retail establishments selling the same junk you can buy elsewhere next door. Familiar is preferred to the exotic these days. It may seem as though the horse is the least important ingredient in Stronach's brew, but it's not. Fans can cozy up to the action, if they care.
Whether you like Gulfstream or not depends on what you think a racetrack is. The worst part of leaving this Earth comes from leaving your memories. People who have been around racecourses for a long time treasure the flamingos at Hialeah and the street cars to Greenwood. It would be an enormous stretch to assume you'll remember anything fondly about being at Gulfstream - unless, of course, you remember it in green and pink, long and low to the horizon like an indigenous element, with the orchids in bloom and a Donn in charge.
Vic Zast is grateful to Dailyn at the Z Ocean Hotel on South Beach for assisting him in bringing this column to HorseRaceInsider.com when his computer screen went black and he was left helpless without the use of technology.


28 Feb 2011 at 08:32 am | #
As usual, after having read a Zast column, I am a) not exactly sure what I read, and b) find myself not exactly confident in my own self, having yet again been informed that I am basically lacking is social skills, polish, stature, and education; am lazy, overweight, find enjoyment in mall shopping, cheap buffet spreads, and wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers (not mentioned is a Daily Racing Form jammed into my jeans’s back pocket); and, of course, having no regard for tradition, pageantry, and respect for class and stratification.
After some thought, though, I must admit you have described me perfectly, except that I am not overweight nor lazy and hate malls.
Mr. Zast, you write as if looking down upon the masses, with a bit of contempt I might add. Since you apparently sit in an elevated position with pen in hand, I urge you to write a column offering suggestions as to what Thoroughbred racing’s organizations should do to stop the continual slide to oblivion that picks up speed every year. Instead of always finding fault, lets change course and present some ideas, that should be clear and obvious from your elevated position.
28 Feb 2011 at 08:44 am | #
Mr. Corrow, you have said it far better than I could. This column is a real world embodiment of the nightmares highschoolers have about the SAT reading comprehension section when asked what the main idea of what they just read was. I believe in the modern internet vernacular, the only response is “WTF?”
So Mr. Zast, do you like it or not? I do.
28 Feb 2011 at 03:12 pm | #
Mr. Zast, I liked the old Gulfstream too but the fact of the matter is they are defying national trends and are way up in handle (a fact) and up in attendance (my opinion from being there every day). The crowd is also become younger. No, they are not wearing suits and ties but they are there.
28 Feb 2011 at 03:47 pm | #
I’m kinda agree. Let’s bring back dress codes and set body mass index requirements for admission. Let’s also take these concepts to the greater society and institute literacy and civics tests for voting. With me, Vic?
28 Feb 2011 at 03:50 pm | #
Kyle, I agree we need literacy and civics tests for voting (exhibit “a” is our current president) but we need every live body at the track.
28 Feb 2011 at 03:58 pm | #
I was lucky enough to visit Gulfstream for the first time in February of 2009 when Florida hosted the national HBPA Convention (God Bless them and Thanks!). As the temperature there was was a full 60 degrees warmer than the Artic-like Circle from which I hale, I was wearing pedal pushers (for shame, my white shins were showing) and we were not allowed into the hallowed grounds of the club house. Maybe this has changed, but I’ve got to say KUDOS if it has. The rich maybe important, but there are far more of us unwashed masses and Gulfstream is short on space.
Perhaps Gulfstream could get funds from the mega rich and build you some ivory towers from where you could view the show.
I’ll happily admit that racinos are annoying and I’m vaguely offended by combining an historic landmark with a strip mall. However, it’s a nice try - expensive - but nice.
While the facility was not finished when I visited, I will admit that they lacked areas to get a coke, grab a hotdog and bet. I spent two days there and didn’t wager a dime.
The paddock walking ring almost makes up for the rest of the annoyances, and, while I’d have preferred watching the races on the rail, it wasn’t a big imposition to view them on the mega screen at the paddock.
Perhaps you would truely understand what a dearth of ellegance is if you visited the race meet at Ag Park in Columbus, Nebraska. That clubhouse will horrify you.
28 Feb 2011 at 04:02 pm | #
Abate,
It has progressed significantly since 2009 but why would you admit you never placed a bet and still make a 6 paragraph post. If you didn’t bet, your opinion in irrelevant.
28 Feb 2011 at 04:20 pm | #
BRussell, I suppose what I have to say is relevant as I never found a teller line that I was willing to stand in to place a bet. Furthermore, Gulfstream’s simulcasting hauls in a significant number of my gambling dollars on a weekly basis (Flashpoint was larger than life in the paddock Saturday and beautiful hauling ass down the lane).
I look forward to the day I can visit Gulfstream again and hope that they will have enough windows that I can actually place a bet next time.
I must ask, though, are you one of the everyday gamblers who is a jerk to our new customers? I’ve seen them at every track I’ve visited and your comment makes me wonder?
28 Feb 2011 at 05:24 pm | #
Vic,
Shame on you! Now we know that you are one of those creeps who look down on the poor families who come to get away from it all and wreck your pristine fairy land.I see your kind everyday during the Saratoga meeting and it makes me sick. Keep on thinking that those fancy clothes and that wad of dollar bills makes you better than everyone else.
Tim
28 Feb 2011 at 06:15 pm | #
I don’t know what is more ridiculous, the new Gulfstream or this column. Easygoer is right, the only decent seats in the place are in the back at the paddock. It’s an obstacle course from the Grandstand seats to the betting windows. What does cozy up to the action even mean? It’s a horse race track, yet it’s almost impossible to watch the races live and make a bet. What kind of track is that? A poor one, a joke. Like this column.
01 Mar 2011 at 01:53 am | #
VZ,
This column proves the “Bounce Theory” doesn’t just apply to horses. Seriously, it’s time for a vacation when wmc makes more sense than you do.
01 Mar 2011 at 09:25 am | #
Dear Mr. Zast:
I’m sitting here writing this in the underwear I’ve been wearing since last Wednesday. Haven’t bathed in a week, and God knows I need a shave. It is 9:30 in the morning, and I just got out of bed (I think it is a Tuesday). I’m all ready for the track tomorrow, but your article is the first indication that there may be others like you who I offend, although nobody every complained to me before. People seem to like me in spite of shabby clothing and abhorrent personal hygiene habits, but I’m not fooled, it is all those winners I give out. In honor of your article, I will make it a point to change into my lucky underwear before attending.
With respect to the grounds at Gulfstream, you have obviously never been to Fonner Park or Scarborough Downs. Count your blessings dude (may I call you dude?).
TTT
01 Mar 2011 at 11:00 am | #
@TTT, Whoa back, at least Fonner has seating for all, rarely a support column in the way and you’ll NEVER see a tanktop in the clubhouse during live racing.
01 Mar 2011 at 11:18 am | #
Dear Abate:
Forgive me, I have not been back to Fonner since 1977, and I’m sure things have really changed since those days. My futile attempts at humor often not only fail, but get me into trouble. My street creds are certainly way up there now with wmcorrow.
By the way, do they still type out the pari-mutuel tickets using carbon paper on an old Royal typewriter; and do they still weigh the jockeys on a bathroom scale?
I just can’t help being corny and stupid, it is my nature.
TTT
01 Mar 2011 at 11:31 am | #
TTT: loved the part about sitting in your underwear typing. We ran out of carbon paper years ago and Hugh’s too much of a tight-a** to buy anymore so now we’re just on the honor system at the windows. I’m not sure, but we may still be using the same bathroom scale from 1977.
Seriously though, Fonner is worth a visit. If you can win a wide open claiming race in Nebraska, you can win it anywhere in the world. The concessions people are often rude and poorly trained, but outside a visit to Keeneland, that appears to be SOP throughout the nation. And always remember: We run for the Fun at Fonner Park (mostly because you’d have to be insane to run for the purses).
04 Mar 2011 at 02:11 pm | #
I guess that Mr. Vic is insinuating that if I like Gulfstream Park I must be a dumb, fat, badly dressed, buffet eating, junk buyer who will have no fond memories of being at the races. I visited Gulfstream Park a few weeks ago and enjoyed it very much. I don’t have to compare it to low level tracks to make a case for it, my ‘home track’ is Keeneland. I bet several races that day and never had a problem with long lines, and yes, it was on a Saturday. In fact, the lines were much shorter than the average line at Keeneland. I had no problem viewing the tote board or watching the races from the apron. Every employee of Gulfstream Park that I spoke with was friendly and helpful. I thought the architecture was amazing and the service was outstanding. Guess Mr. Vic would be surprised to know that I am not fat, I dress decently, I don’t eat at buffets too often, I don’t frequent malls if I can help it, I’m not that dumb, and I have fond memories of the new Gulfstream Park!
05 Mar 2011 at 04:43 am | #
TTT,
I believe HANA raises funds by selling emblazoned boxer-shorts for bettors who feel too restricted otherwise, but I have to ask: Are yours monogrammed?
This belated response to your tickling text was triggered by the presence of two “Dudes” among four horses entered by Baffert in the Santa Anita Handicap, both of whom are also Belmont Stakes survivors. Chantall on Come On Dude is a real come on for me. This dude is by Awesome Again, suggesting he will be totally awesome winning his second start over a track he seems to savor since succumbing at twelve furlongs.
Inordinately Impressed Indulto