LOS ANGELES, March 23, 2010--Several years ago, the American Film Institute came out with the 100 best of everything, including the top movie lines of all-time. ("Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," from "Gone With the Wind," was No. 1, but it was "Casablanca" that garnered the lion's share). Racing can hold its own with any of these lists. How about these lines:

25. "I need to take a nap. Could you wake me in seven minutes?"--Trainer Wayne Lukas, talking to his wife Sherri.

24. "Know why they call me Russell the Muscle? Because muscle's the only word that rhymes with Russell."--Jockey Russell Baze.


23. "For all the good I did in there, I might just as well have stayed home and painted my toenails."--Anita Madden, a Kentucky racing commissioner, leaving a racing board meeting in which the rest of the board voted down her proposal to toughen the state's medication rules.

22. "If you want me to tell a man he can't run his horse in the Kentucky Derby, you'll have to find somebody else for this job."--Tommy Trotter, racing secretary at Churchill Downs, after track management asked him to arbitrarily narrow the field to 20 horses for the Derby.

21. "Why is everybody so sad? Nobody died."--Trainer Bob Baffert, speaking to the media minutes after Real Quiet, the Derby-Preakness winner, finished second in the 1998 Belmont Stakes.

20. "A public hanging would be nice."--Mary Jones Bradley, when asked if she could ever bury the hatchet with Gordon Jones, the turf writer who roundly criticized her after she fired Bill Shoemaker as the jockey of Cougar II.

19. "It's like running on Velcro."--Trainer John Shirreffs, in a discussion about synthetic tracks.

18. "Once upon a time, there was a horse called Kelso. But only once."--Joe Hirsch of the Daily Racing Form.

17. "The thing I like about owning horses is that they don't ask you to renegotiate their contracts."--Gene Klein, former owner of the San Diego Chargers.

16. "Will you hold my horse?"--Trainer Willard Proctor, just before he cold-cocked a horseman who had crossed him.

15. "It's 9 a.m., and change."--Ed Schuyler of the Associated Press, when asked for the time.

14. "Take me off a horse, and I'm just another little man."--Jockey Johnny Longden.

13. "They give their lives just for our pleasure."--Trainer Ron McAnally, after his Bayakoa won the 1990 Breeders' Cup Distaff and Go for Wand suffered a fatal breakdown in the race.

12. "Please, Dolly, don't get in this game. They'll take you like Grant took Richmond."--Kentucky breeder Leslie Combs, to Beverly Hills socialite Dolly Green after she said she was going to buy some horses at Keeneland.

11. "What did you do, ice up a six-pack for Derby week?"--Jim Murray of the Los Angeles Times, after a colleague, four days before the Derby, ordered a second Heineken and was told by the Louisville bartender that they were all out.

10. "Figures lie and liars figure."--Jimmy Kilroe of Santa Anita, when asked for his opinion of the Dosage rating system.

9. "When Steve Cauthen started winning so many races, his career took off like a flying sausage."--Trainer Laz Barrera.

8. "I want to introduce you to my trainer, Sonny Hine. He made me a millionaire. Of course, I started with five million."--Ben Cohen of Pimlico Race Track.

7. "I treat my owners like mushrooms. I keep them in the dark and feed them plenty of manure."--Trainer Charlie Whittingham.

6. "The stewards gave him five days. I gave him five nights."--Jockey Mary Bacon, after her husband was suspended for fouling her horse in a race.

5. "He's the greatest horse to ever look through a bridle."--Trainer Bud Delp, talking about Spectacular Bid.

4. "The only thing smart about Ronnie Franklin is that he knows he isn't smart."--Delp again, after Spectacular Bid won the 1979 Florida Derby despite a horrible ride by Franklin.

3. "You never know, you might be running over glass at a track like that."--Trainer Woody Stephens, after another trainer, Joe Cantey, asked him if he ought to send Temperence Hill to Louisiana Downs for the 1980 Super Derby.

2. "I'm not down to my last camel, but still it would be a good idea if you could raise purses in this country."--Sheik Mohammed of Dubai, during a speech to an English racing group.

1. "Mrs. C.V. Whitney's Fuzzy Wuzzy has been scratched. Please scratch Mrs. C.V. Whitney's Fuzzy Wuzzy."--Track announcer Fred Capossela, during a post parade at Saratoga.