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Tuesday, September 20, 2011


Playing the Red Board at the Emmys


CORONA, NEW YORK, September 19, 2011--Hey, anybody out there watch the Emmys? That’s right, it’s a serious question.

There were more upsets than on the gridiron all last weekend combined.

Waddya’ want from me. I watch a lot of television. In this economy, what the hell else I’m I suppose to do, go to a Yankees game?

Can‘t. Got acrophobia. Sorry, that’s fear of heights. Got the big word from the big man, Pricci. Thinks he’s so smart. See his picks lately? No? Lucky you.

After the football, and the Red Carpet chick stiff, I man-caved with some kettle corn and beer to watch the Emmys, but this song and dance thing broke out.

What the hell is this? It’s that woman from Glee, which I don’t watch, ever, but you know, she was pretty good. Shocked the hell out of me.

Jane Lynch, that’s her name. She was good on her feet, dancing and thinking both.

My favorite part was when she dropped in on the crew from “Mad Men.” Liked the way she tried to put a move on Peggy Olson. I’da picked Joan Harris myself.

And I liked the way Pete Campbell got snarky--yeah, another Pricci word, he never stops. “Go get a new haircut,” or clothes, or something, and Don Draper, my role model, except for the looks, told her just go and don’t come back.

Wouldn’t you love to do that just once? I would.

“So, here’s to you, Don…salute.”

“Hey, you guys are up to the 1960s now, right? Well have a tok of this.. Don‘t worry, it’s good, not skunky, got it from the ‘Real Time’ guy.”

The next cool thing I saw was Amy Poehler coming up to accept, standing on stage before the winner was announced. Then they went up on stage.

Rob Lowe did some fast thinking there.

Then we find out it’s a put-up job because in comes a small crown and some roses for Melissa McCarthy, comedy actress winner, for winning “her first pageant.”

I get it, but you must think we‘re all stupid. But I will say this. Whoever had Molly in the future book scored out. Who knows? Maybe the whole event was scammed.

Look, I love “Friday Night Lights.” The network had it, then took it off the air, it came back on free cable, then the network put it back on.

What was the matter; good show, bad ratings? So how did “Seinfeld” work out when you left him on the air? His ratings stunk too.

I love the coach. Would run through brick walls for the coach. But Coach Taylor over Raylan Givens? How’s that justified?

And Enoch Nucky Thompson, too? That’s a crime.

I thought if anything Tami Taylor had a shot. Now maybe those morons will bring the show back. Know I’d like to see Lila Garrity come back for one more shot with Tim Riggins.

And have him do to her what Monte Beragon did to Mildred Pierce.

[Jeter, I love you. Put you in my Top Five Yankees behind Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio and Mantle. And you probably don’t have any problems getting a date, but you’re an idiot. Angels come along only about every 30 years, Charley].

Speaking of fantasies, my favorite commercial was “J’adore Dior.” Cherize, you can walk my plank anytime. But, I digress, and I new that word myself.

It wasn’t like the night was all longshots, there was a lot of chalk, too. “Mad Men” is now 4-for-4. Unbelievable. Gives boozing and misogyny a good name, don’t ya’ think?

And does “The Daily Show” ever lose? Ever? Everybody knew. See the payoffs? $2.40, out, out. C’mon.

Now I think “Game of Thrones” is pretty good, but “the Imp” over the evil- on-several-levels Boyd Crowder? Can’t justify that one, either.

Now Mags Bennet, she’s evil through and through. And she got what was coming to her, twice. Believe me, it was justified. Just for screwin’ with her son Dickie, who just might be Real Time’s pot dealer.

Well, I missed most of the mini-series and movies, and I missed the low-brow stuff, too. I’ll have to catch up with “Downton Abbey” and “The Kennedys” at some point.

And I guess I’ll watch one episode of “Modern Family,” just because.

“The Amazing Race?” No reality spoken here, except for the “Sing Off.” Picked the winner in both seasons. How do you like that, Pricci?

Alicia Florrick? She’s a great character, with character, accepting her award graciously, albeit dressed in a bejeweled body cast. But the award seemed like a reward for commercial success, that’s all I’m sayin.’

The line of the night belonged to the co-creator of “Modern Family.” Before going off air, he talked about how this couple came up to him and said the best thing about the show is that it teaches tolerance.

“And as I look around this room tonight, I see many examples--of older men with younger women.”

But in all these years, you’d think “Sons Of Anarchy” would get a nod,from this crew. Fudgeddaboudit. Except for Gemma Teller at the Golden Globes, nothing, nada, zilch.

It's “Godfather” meets “The Wild One.” You got a problem with that?

Written by John Pricci

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