He said my Emmys review bombed so bad that it got no response and that I needed to do something else.
I told him it's not my fault his readers have no appreciation for the arts.
Anyway, here's some stuff that would have come across my desk, if I had a desk:
The economy is so bad that I received a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
The economy is so bad that CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
The economy is so bad that Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
The economy is so bad that Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
The economy is so bad that a picture is now worth 200 words.
The economy is so bad that they renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street."
The economy is so bad that I called the Suicide Hotline and got a call center in Pakistan.
The economy is so bad that when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited. Then they asked if I could drive a truck.
12 Oct 2011 at 12:35 pm | #
No responses? Here’s some,
The economy is so bad that African television stations are showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials!
It’s so bad, Snoop Dogg had to start eating regular brownies.
The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.
The economy is so bad, I went to my bank the other day and the teller handed me a note saying, “This is a robbery!”
The economy is so bad, Dr. Seuss rose from the grave to write a new book: Green Eggs and Spam.
The economy is so bad that I went to my bank to get a loan, they said, “What a coincidence! That’s just what we were going to ask you!”
The economy is so bad, rapper 50 Cent had to change his name to 10 Cent.
The economy is so bad, my ATM gave me an IOU!
The economy is so bad that the highest-paying job in town is jury duty.
The economy is so bad I saw a man in Costco buying one roll of toilet paper.
The economy is so bad that I saw a van full of legal immigrants illegally crossing the border to Mexico.
The economy is so bad that parents in Bevery Hills are considering raising their own children.
The economy is so bad I saw a polygamist with only one wife.
The economy is so bad that I saw someone using the sun to get a tan!
The economy is so bad that wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
The economy is so bad, Hot Wheels stock is trading higher than GM.
It’s so bad, McDonalds is introducing the 1/4-Ouncer.
The economy is so bad, mothers in Ethiopia are telling their children, “Finish your meal! Don’t you know there are starving children in the US?”
The economy is so bad, that a prostitute asked me if she could borrow $20 until she can get back on her back.
It’s so bad, a stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
The economy is so bad, my sister had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
The economy is so bad, that I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.
The economy is so bad, hobos in Beverly Hills now have to drink tap water.
The economy is so bad, that the White House turkey turned down his Thanksgiving pardon-- all his wealth was in stocks, and he has nothing to live for.
It’s so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”
The economy is so bad, my niece told me she wants to dress up as a 401-K for Halloween so that she can turn invisible.
The economy is so bad, that instead of a coin toss at the beginning of the Super Bowl, they played “Rock, Paper, Scissors.”
The economy is so bad that Roy’s tigers are now eating him out of necessity.
The economy is so bad, the Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
It’s so bad, they built an Indian reservation on a casino.
The economy is so bad, Michael Phelps has to share a bong.
The economy is so bad that when Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The economy is so bad, a certain celebutante changed her name to “Paris Holiday Inn.”
It’s so bad, the Lone Ranger sold his silver bullets on Ebay.
09 Dec 2011 at 11:46 am | #
Great stuff, Cat. Thanks!