Get the picture? Another film on Ratzky's list is "Seven Days in May." Part of the plot, which is about the overthrow of the U.S. government from within, revolves around what Hitchcock would have called the MacGuffin--the raison d'etre. Those participating in the conspiracy were bettors in a mythical "Preakness pool," organized by Burt Lancaster's treacherous Army officer. Well, if Ratzky can do it, so can I, and here is my top 10:
9. "My Fair Lady" (1964). Professor Higgins (Rex Harrison) takes Eliza Doolittle (Audrey Hepburn) to Royal Ascot. In the stretch run of a race, Eliza blurts: "Come on, Dover, move your bloomin' arse!"
8. "Shadow of the Thin Man (1941). The MacGuffin is the murder of a jockey at Golden Gate Fields. Nick Charles (William Powell) fingers the culprit by the final reel, but not after this conversation between a police lieutenant (Sam Levene) and Charles' wife Nora (Myrna Loy). Levene: "You know that jockey, Golez, the one who was caught throwing the fourth race yesterday? He was shot." Loy: "My, they're strict at this track!"
7. "Public Enemy" (1931). Off camera, James Cagney and Eddie Woods visit the stable of fellow mobster Nails Nathan (Leslie Fenton) and shoot his polo pony.
6. "The Godfather" (1972). John Marley, playing a Hollywood movie producer, wakes up in his bed to find the bloody head of his prized stallion.
5. Ben-Hur (1959). I don't know what the second-best sulky race of all-time is, but this is the first, by a country mile. There was no trifecta betting.
4. "The Late Show" (1977). Art Carney, a retired gumshoe waiting for a bus, is sitting on a bench with a big bag of dirty laundry. Bill Macy, in his Cadillac convertible, stops and says: "Where ya goin'?" "The Turf Club at Santa Anita," Carney says. "Where do you think, you crazy bastard?"
3. "Smart Money" (1931). The cops raid a gambling house run by Edward G. Robinson. "You got nothin' on me," Robinson says. "This joint isn't in my name." A cop says: "Oh yes, we do. Possession of illegal gambling paraphernalia." He points to a pocket in Robinson's overcoat, which contains a copy of the Racing Form. In the next scene, Robinson is seen being escorted to a train that will take him to a prison for a 10-year stretch.
2. "The Sting" (1973). Sitting in a bookie joint run by Henry Gondorff (Paul Newman), mobster Doyle Lonnegan (Robert Shaw) listens to a call of a race and says: "I put it all on Lucky Dan. Half a million dollars to win." Sitting next to him, Kid Twist (Harold Gould) says: "I said place! Place it on Lucky Dan! That horse is gonna run second!"
1. "It Ain't Hay" (1943). For my money, Abbott and Costello's mudder-fodder routine is every bit as good as "Who's on First?" An excerpt:
"Every morning, the farmer would feed Black Beauty," Costello says.
"Yes," Abbott says, "Black Beauty ate his fodder."
"Yes, and after that he would eat. . . He ate his fodder?
"Certainly, every horse eats his fodder."
"You mean he eats his fodder?"
"Yes! And his father eats his fodder, and his father eats his fodder."
"Pretty soon there wouldn't be no fodders left for Fodders' Day!"
Later, Abbott starts talking about a horse who's a good mudder.
"Modern mudders don't eat oats," Abbott says. "They eat their fodder."
"Here we go again!" Costello says. "What did you say?"
"I said he feeds his mudder his fodder."
"What have they got in the horse world--a bunch of cannibals?"


15 Feb 2011 at 07:51 am | #
Bill,
The treacherous army officer was Burt Lancaster. Kirk was the good guy.
15 Feb 2011 at 09:05 am | #
Wish, out of principle, you would have omitted “The Sting.” Earlier in the movie they have a 3-1 shot paying six bucks.
15 Feb 2011 at 09:15 am | #
Dear Kyle:
Thanks to the CHRB, a 3-1 shot in California does pay 6 bucks.
TTT
15 Feb 2011 at 09:28 am | #
Touche.
15 Feb 2011 at 09:43 am | #
In fact, those mudder fodders are ruining California racing.
TTT
15 Feb 2011 at 09:53 am | #
Most deceptive movie title of all time: “They shoot horses, don’t they?”
15 Feb 2011 at 10:17 am | #
Still have a hard time figuring out why people are ok playing NYRA and their 26% takeout on DD/Pick 3/4/6 wagers but want to boycott California because of their 23% take.
Do as you please fellas!
I’ll continue to pass on NYRA.
15 Feb 2011 at 10:30 am | #
An actor friend of mine showed up at my door one day a few years back with “The Killing,” a black and white “b” movie from the 50s (the kind kids won’t watch), which I had never seen. I loved it because of the theme, although probably most people not interested in racing would think it was not that good.
And Gary, I can’t speak for the powers that be at H.A.N.A, but I suspect that they had to start somewhere to stop the extortion, and so they did so with this most recent increase. If nothing is done, it will only go to 26%; what is to stop them?
TTT
15 Feb 2011 at 10:45 am | #
TTT,
Is that the movie where they shoot the horse during the race?
One of my favorite treatments of racing in a “non-racing movie” is “The Pope of Greenwich Village.” It’s realistic in a fantastic kind of way; it’s funny; and it captures in a gritty, unrequited way the racing’s optimistic, romantic side.
15 Feb 2011 at 11:16 am | #
Good catch, Nick Kling. I’ll make the fix. Thanks.
15 Feb 2011 at 11:26 am | #
“The Pope of Greenwich Village” is on Ratzky’s list, I believe. I tried to stay away from what he had. A conversation between Mickey Rourke and Eric Roberts about genes and breeding was sired by Abbott and Costello.
“The Killing” is one of my top 10 horse movies, but I left it off this oddball list. Early Kubrick, a glimpse at the genius to come. He wanted to film on the East Coast, but was turned down, and wound up at either Bay Meadows or Golden Gate. And yes, the diversion during a track holdup is the shooting of a horse during a race.
15 Feb 2011 at 12:21 pm | #
The ‘artificial inspiration” scene in “Pope” is a funny one. And I can see the lineage you suggest. The scene at the track is really well done, too - the well-named Starry Hope, the excrutiating photo-finish loss, and Pauly’s reaction when he learns Charlie cashed a place bet ("You jinxed him, Charlie).
15 Feb 2011 at 01:31 pm | #
I can’t believe no one gave props to “A Bronx Tale.”
Local mobster Sonny is at Aqueduct and tears up his tickets before the race is over when he finds out “Mush” bet on the same horse. Sonny had gotten mushed!
15 Feb 2011 at 01:53 pm | #
I’d like to hear some favorite music and literature references. Like Hemingway in “A Movable Feast” looking for juiced horses in the paddock. Cole Porter’s “You’re the Top. You’re a turkey dinner. You’re the time of a Derby winner.” And two from Van Morrison : from “In the Days Before Rock and Roll” - “we bet on Lester Piggott. 10-1.” And “Village Idiot” - “He takes his holiday down at the bookies for he knows how to pick a horse.”
15 Feb 2011 at 02:47 pm | #
Nick,
The scene from “A Bronx Tale” is priceless.
Most horseplayers I know,(including myself) know someone they consider to be a “Mush”
15 Feb 2011 at 02:51 pm | #
How many of you commentators above bet on a horse today? Just what Thoroughbred racing needs, bettors to increase handle, to provide cash to racetracks. Or, as Thoroughbred racing slowly fades, are you all content in nostalgia?
And the beat goes on ....
15 Feb 2011 at 03:08 pm | #
The reason I asked in my previous post is that HRI holds itself out to the internet public as being 1) Horse racing, 2) Horse racing tips (haven’t seen any yet), 3) Horse racing betting, and 4) Horse racing handicapping.
15 Feb 2011 at 03:21 pm | #
WMC,
Sorry to inform you I didn’t wager today.
I take Monday/Tuesday off. Play the other 5 days of the week.
15 Feb 2011 at 03:32 pm | #
Dear wmcorrow:
#2 10th at Parx. You got your tip.
TTT
15 Feb 2011 at 03:33 pm | #
correction, that is the 9th
15 Feb 2011 at 03:45 pm | #
Rolling Stones
album: Sticky Fingers
song: Dead Flowers
“when you’re sitting back in your rose-pink Cadillac, making bets on Kentucky Derby day.”
15 Feb 2011 at 04:10 pm | #
Damon Runyon’s Hot Horse Herbie nailing his trunk to the floor of his rented room in Saratoga so his landlord will think he is a man of substance!
15 Feb 2011 at 04:34 pm | #
TTT: Power Pledge, a state bred N.J., had a shot. Halo Hollie had a huge class edge and had raced against better.
As to a tip: Toss it pronto!!
15 Feb 2011 at 05:56 pm | #
My dream is someday, a racing movie will be made with the diamond-perfect casting that made Social Network almost – almost - watchable.
(As for TSN’s theme, if you’re interested in the flailing around of Ivy League twits trying to fall butter-side up in the sack with members of the opposite sex who are anatomical dead ringers for blow-up dolls…hurry up, get that DVD. Heck, even the inexplicably dumbed-down “Seabiscuit” in 2003 had a deeper plot.)
“Thanks to the CHRB, a 3-1 shot in California does pay 6 bucks.”
I mean, have we heard a better line in the last three or five years than what Top Turf Teddy has just now given us?
I bet if we look up the writing pedigree of the Teddy family, we just might see some of the names of the writers who wrote the great lines in the movies admired by Mr. Christine.
Next up, a Sherlock Holmes remake (he joins the London Mafia): “The 26% Solution.”
A better theme would have been inspired by “The Killing,” but with a genuinely disgruntled horseplayer whose aim was to shoot the horse during a race - but first, he had a fake robbery at the $100 window staged as a diversion.
(“Dear wmcorrow: #2 10th at Parx. You got your tip. TTT.” TTT’s 2nd correction, to “wmcorrow:” “I said place! Place it on Lucky Dan! That horse is gonna run second!”
As a final note, this happened to me today (on another site), for the first time since I started cursing computers and keyboards non-stop in the mid-90’s:
“Your comment has been flagged for illegal keywords and is now awaiting moderation.”
It’s nice to know that I could, if I wanted to, write Hollywood screenplays alongside the best of ‘em.
15 Feb 2011 at 06:53 pm | #
I guess the ultimate racing song is “Fugue for Tinhorns” from “Guys and Dolls.”
I should have remembered the classic “Mush” from “A Bronx Tale.” I saw Chazz Palminteri’s stage show based on the movie, and he made an entire routine out of “Mush” at the track. It was funnier on stage than it was in the film.
15 Feb 2011 at 07:33 pm | #
My favorite Abbott and Costello racing gag was this:
Costello: I saw a horse race that was fixed.
Abbott: That’s ridiculous. How did you know the race was fixed?
Costello: The horse had a 200lb jockey and he was chained to the starting gate.
Abbott: That still doesn’t prove anything.
Costello: Oh yeah? The horse won!